Me and God

I don't need to introduce myself. But I kinda want to. My name is Refaia. My close friends call me Ref. My family calls me Reef. I have a bunch of other nicknames too. As of right now, I'm feeling a lot of things but overall, I am content and joyful. I look at my life, I feel nothing but gratitude. I have absolutely no idea what my future holds, but I praise God. When I couldn't even look up, he bent down and I know he would do that for me again, again and again... And it comforts me. Everyday I'm trying and learning and reaching further than I did yesterday. Some days, I pat myself on the back for being productive and some days, just for getting up and trying. Life, even with God by my side isn't any easier, but it gives me a sense of purpose. And I'm not ashamed of how I live my life, because it is here where I find him. Here with these boring activities and slow songs, he became real to me. I don't like luxury and trends but I don't live cheap or poor also. I live through grace and grace alone and whatever it allows me to hold. I don't follow rules, I follow Christ and he led me here. I believe in him but that doesn't mean I don't have doubts. I am not afraid of my mind and the questions it brings, so I learn to trust instead. While I expect a lot of things from him, I don't expect miracles ever too often. I want to learn to believe in him without them. I want to learn how to believe.